Friday, November 8, 2013 -- Do the Math

(Federal contracting) PLUS (web development) MINUS (potheads + pirates) DIVIDED BY ([GOP + TP] X [ISP=AOL]) = what could possibly go wrong?

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Lou Reed: Magic and Loss

[NOTE: Most of the posts on this blog have been parodies, until now. There's just nothing funny about losing Lou Reed. This tribute was written by a longtime friend of Angela Motorman & Co.]

I saw Lou Reed perform for the first time in April 1966 at the Open Stage on Bleecker Street, where the Velvet Underground appeared with Nico for their first long gig as part of Andy Warhol's Exploding Plastic Inevitable. My best friend from prep school Carolyn and I sat right next to the stage, so our view of the band was close up and vertical.

I have no idea how I was sufficiently hip to want to go to this concert. I was still in prep school, FFS, although I did spend every weekend in The Village. I wore black patterned tights, hand-crafted dangly silver jewelry, and smoked a lot of French cigarettes. It's safe to say I had my mind blown by The Velvet Underground, although I was under the influence of nothing stronger or stranger than Canadian Club and water.

I liked them enough to make an effort to go see them again a few months later at an extremely weird venue: a Labor Day concert in a HS gym in Provincetown, where Carolyn and I sat on the floor near a guy who started smoking smoking weed. We moved away from him because we were afraid of catching the high.

If I ever owned the banana peel album on vinyl, it long ago wandered off with some former roommate. I alternately loved and was appalled by his music in the intervening years -- I thought he'd lost his mind several times, and maybe he did. This year I've been following him on Twitter, where whoever controlled his account was posting archival pics about once a week. Right after he got a new liver last spring, he checked in personally with a current portrait, in which he looked phenomenally healthy for a guy who'd just cheated death for about the 12th time.

When I heard he had died this weekend, my first impulse was to make sure as many people as possible remember what I think is not just his greatest album, but one of the best albums ever done in any genre by any artist: 1992's elegiac "Magic and Loss", a concept album written after the death of two close friends. Below is the video of the title cut and lyrics, followed a link to the original Rolling Stone review. The whole album is worth seeking out.

Because if there were two things Lou Reed knew better than anybody, they were magic and loss. I'm so privileged to have witnessed some of that.


   When you pass through the fire, you pass through humble
   You pass through a maze of self doubt
   When you pass through humble, the lights can blind you
   Some people never figure that out

   You pass through arrogance, you pass through hurt
   You pass through an ever present past
   And it's best not to wait for luck to save you
   Pass through the fire to the light

   Pass through the fire to the light
   Pass through the fire to the light
   It's best not to wait for luck to save you
   Pass through the fire to the light

   As you pass through the fire, your right hand waving
   There are things you have to throw out
   That caustic dread inside your head
   Will never help you out

   You have to be very strong, 'cause you'll start from zero
   Over and over again
   And as the smoke clears there's an all consuming fire
   Lyin' straight ahead

   Lyin' straight ahead
   Lyin' straight ahead
   As the smoke clears there's an all consuming fire
   Lyin' straight ahead

   They say no one person can do it all
   But you want to in your head
   But you can't be Shakespeare and you can't be Joyce
   So what is left instead

   You're stuck with yourself and a rage that can hurt you
   You have to start at the beginning again
   And just this moment this wonderful fire
   Started up again

   When you pass through humble, when you pass through sickly
   When you pass through I'm better than you all
   When you pass through anger and self deprecation
   And have the strength to acknowledge it all

   When the past makes you laugh and you can savor the magic
   That let you survive your own war
   You find that that fire is passion
   And there's a door up ahead not a wall

   As you pass through fire as you pass through fire
   Tryin' to remember it's name
   When you pass through fire lickin' at your lips
   You cannot remain the same

   And if the building's burning move towards that door
   But don't put the flames out
   There's a bit of magic in everything
   And then some loss to even things out

   Some loss to even things out
   Some loss to even things out
   There's a bit of magic in everything
   And then some loss to even things out

   -- Lou Reed, Magic And Loss

Monday, April 1, 2013

Kmart Sued by McDonald's for Copyright Infringement over Easter-themed TV Commercial

 (10-Minute Updates)
     April 1, 2013

News Index From The Associative Press


Filed at 4:20 p.m. E.D.T.

By Angela Motorman
CMI Senior Investigative Editor

Corporate executives for Kmart awoke the day after Easter this year to a hangover more serious than the usual sugar overload. The retail giant received notice today that it is being sued for trademark infringement by McDonald's over an Easter-themed commercial that featured a fictional animal called a "lamb-bit", purported to be half lamb and half rabbit.

In court filings McDonald's claims the Kmart ad damaged its planned introduction of a new menu item by the same name. The "lamb-bit" commercial  gained wide popularity, despite a having only a short run on one cable network, because of rapid viral proliferation as an online video.

"It took almost seven years to develop the recipe for the Lamb-Bit, and we've held the trademark for the since 2009," said McDonald's house counsel T.C. Mits in an interview with trade publication Fast Feasts. "It took Kmart just thirty seconds to undo all that."

Mits added, "No child will ever agree to eat a Lamb-Bit, much less ask for them, after seeing it portrayed as a live, fluffy Easter gift." 

In the commercial, which aired last week in two versions on USA Network, a father played by comedian Owen Smith gives his three young children an Easter present of a white-furred, baa-ing animal with long legs and tall ears, claiming the creature is "half lamb, half rabbit". After the animal runs out out of the house, clacking its hooves on the wood floor, the father is seen calling for it to come back as he posts flyers for a lost lambbit on a utility pole.

The commercial, which last aired on USA Network March 31 and has been removed from both the Kmart website and YouTube, is viewable at the industry site iSpot.TV ( )

Kmart spokesman Dennis Menimen said the McDonald's claim is "without merit", noting that the Kmart commercial used an unhyphenated spelling with no capital letters and never referenced any food item, only candy.

The retail chain, whose clothing line is the subject of the disputed advertisement, has received "nearly a half million email requests for a stuffed lambbit", Menimen added. He indicated the retailer plans to introduce the stuffed lambbit next spring, along with new versions of the popular ad spot.

McDonald's attorney Mits said the food chain had intended to position Lamb-Bits as the newest in a series of bite-sized menu items, pairing the nugget-like chunks of fried lamb with the customer's choice of sauce dips ranging from mild minted yogurt to spicy tomato with coriander and cumin.

Fast Feasts reporter Liz Estrada pointed to the unusually high stakes for McDonald's in defending its trademark in this case, linking to previous coverage of two other menu items that never made it out of development due to similar issues. The cured hot pork cutlet sandwich to be called the Hamlet was cancelled in 2010 after complaints from the National Council of Teachers of English.

In 2012, the chopped and formed fingers of poultry meat dubbed Duck Wings failed after fans of Caldecott Medal-winning children's author Robert McCloskey joined forces with the American Library Association to refuse to make way for the new snack. Not even a campaign by endorsers Phil, Si, Willie and Jase Robertson of the cable TV hit "Duck Dynasty" was able to rescue that promotional effort.

Initial arguments in the case are expected to be heard in July, and the cable industry public affairs channel C-SPAN has already said the proceedings will be televised live.


Copyright 2013 CMI/Associative Press. All rights reserved.