For the first time in 46 years, the offerings this summer at Columbus' favorite hippie festival will include -- without a drop of irony -- a complaint booth.

Short North Gazetteer
4.1.18


New at The 2018 Columbus Community Festival

The times, they really are a-changing. For the first time in 46 years, the offerings this summer at Columbus' favorite hippie festival will include -- without a drop of irony -- a complaint booth.

Can't find parking on a weekend in the Short North? Art too costly? Service too slow? Now there's an outlet for that frustration.

 "People are going to complain anyway," said Festival spokeswoman Liz Estrada. "We're just centralizing and streamlining it so Festival participants can be sure they're delivering their complaint at the right doorstep. Then they can go on and enjoy the rest of the event."

Anyone can file a complaint about anything related to the fest simply by writing it up and bringing it to the Complaint Booth, expected to be located next to the Information Station at the park's east gate.

The only requirement is that grievances be in line with the organization's Statement of Principles as printed in the program, listed on the website and displayed on banners around the Goodale Park site.

These parameters, which effectively rule out attacks on individuals, mean the new complaint system won't attract vintage whines like those that were common in the old DoneWaiting.com BitchFest days. Yet organizers are hoping for some top quality rhetorical fireworks.

"If your band didn't get picked, again, we're sure you have plenty to complain about," said entertainment committee chair Avril Phoule. "So take some of that white hot lyrical energy and let us hear it."   

In the collective spirit of the Festival, the merits of all complaints submitted Saturday and Sunday will be considered by a late Saturday night gathering of the staff of the volunteer-run event. Estrada denied knowledge of planned ritual intoxication during the judging, but declined to dismiss widespread rumors of an expected spike in snarkiness around this time.

The 10 best complaints will each be given a dramatic reading at noon on the main stage, accompanied by improvisational jazz and drumming. Special recognition will be awarded to complaints that elevate the usual discourse on two ongoing issues: bare boobs (too many? not enough?) and long lines.

All winners will be invited to a special reunion at Goodale Park on Monday June 25 at 8 AM, when they will have the honor of helping to load out and clean up.


© 2018 Associative Press / CMI